Wednesday, July 29, 2009

the goatherd

Bunna and Biff packed up the kids and headed off for the Prairie Farms petting zoo for an afternoon of watch where you step. The goatherd displayed a blatant disregard for all things fecal (her shoes will never be the same), but she thoroughly enjoyed herself. Bunna switched on the camera at just the right moment.

One must be vigilant in such an environment. Bunna's attention to the cinematographic arts distracted him from noticing that his shorts were becoming a goat's afternoon snack and that Biff's baby sling was 10 inches down the throat of an arthritic deer. Retrieving the half-masticated sling was easy enough; however, contemplating the idea that it had been so near the doe's GI tract and that it was covered in some ungodly slime, made the urbanites a little uneasy.

Fortunately for Bunna and Biff, there is more to do at Prairie Farms than enter the ring of cloven-hoofed chaos. They were pleasantly surprised by the variety of farm animals on display.

and many more that didn't make the highlight reel.

The goatherd's shoes are still wrapped in a plastic bag in the trunk of the car. Bunna and Biff aren't sure that she'll wear them again.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

school bus flips - four dead, one critically injured

Bunnaland, IL--

Bunnaland police officers and firemen responding to the crash site of a Little Tikes school bus said it was the worst accident in memory. A Biff County School District bus careened off the threshold between the kitchen and the living room early Friday afternoon expelling all four passengers and the driver, sending four to their tragic deaths and critically wounding a fifth.

A shot of the carnage before emergency teams arrived.

Dr. Zoerson, a Biff County spokesperson, has confirmed the deaths of 2 year-old, Librarian Little Person, 2 1/2 year-old Christopher Little Person, 2 year-old Pig-Tails Little Person, and 3 year-old Dwyber Little Person, who was found 48 1/2 inches from the crash site.

From left to right: Pig-Tails, Christopher, and Librarian.

Orange-hair Little Person, survived the crash, but was rushed to Biff County Hospital with severe internal bleeding. Surgeons there attempting to repair the damage are apparently baffled by his anatomy and are waiting for a specialist from neighboring Tikestown before commencing what could be a life-saving procedure.

Investigators have yet to determine the cause of the accident, but released a statement late this evening which indicated they were looking closely at the distance between Mr. Dwyber and the rest of the wreckage. "That is the key to this investigation," said Sgt. Bifferson of the Bunnaland Police Department, who is heading up the investigation.

48 inches stands between investigators and understanding the cause of this tragic accident.

Dwyber Litte Person, 36 minute veteran of the Biff County School District.

Sources close to the investigation say there have been allegations of negligence levied against Biff County School District for failing to install steering wheels in their busses and for inept hiring practices that have led to 99% of all Little Tikes drivers with arms too short to operate county school busses. Biff County School District officials responded by claiming they are an equal opportunity employer and that arm length has no impact on one's ability to crash a bus.

Law enforcement officials are also looking for this girl, who they think may have had something to do with the crash.

If anyone has any information about her whereabouts, please contact the Biff County Sheriff's Department at 506-LIL-PEPL.