Bunna and Biff packed up the kids and headed off for the Prairie Farms petting zoo for an afternoon of watch where you step. The goatherd displayed a blatant disregard for all things fecal (her shoes will never be the same), but she thoroughly enjoyed herself. Bunna switched on the camera at just the right moment.
One must be vigilant in such an environment. Bunna's attention to the cinematographic arts distracted him from noticing that his shorts were becoming a goat's afternoon snack and that Biff's baby sling was 10 inches down the throat of an arthritic deer. Retrieving the half-masticated sling was easy enough; however, contemplating the idea that it had been so near the doe's GI tract and that it was covered in some ungodly slime, made the urbanites a little uneasy.
Fortunately for Bunna and Biff, there is more to do at Prairie Farms than enter the ring of cloven-hoofed chaos. They were pleasantly surprised by the variety of farm animals on display.
and many more that didn't make the highlight reel.
The goatherd's shoes are still wrapped in a plastic bag in the trunk of the car. Bunna and Biff aren't sure that she'll wear them again.
Bunnaland police officers and firemen responding to the crash site of a Little Tikes school bus said it was the worst accident in memory. A Biff County School District bus careened off the threshold between the kitchen and the living room early Friday afternoon expelling all four passengers and the driver, sending four to their tragic deaths and critically wounding a fifth.
A shot of the carnage before emergency teams arrived.
Dr. Zoerson, a Biff County spokesperson, has confirmed the deaths of 2 year-old, Librarian Little Person, 2 1/2 year-old Christopher Little Person, 2 year-old Pig-Tails Little Person, and 3 year-old Dwyber Little Person, who was found 48 1/2 inches from the crash site.
From left to right: Pig-Tails, Christopher, and Librarian.
Orange-hair Little Person, survived the crash, but was rushed to Biff County Hospital with severe internal bleeding. Surgeons there attempting to repair the damage are apparently baffled by his anatomy and are waiting for a specialist from neighboring Tikestown before commencing what could be a life-saving procedure.
Investigators have yet to determine the cause of the accident, but released a statement late this evening which indicated they were looking closely at the distance between Mr. Dwyber and the rest of the wreckage. "That is the key to this investigation," said Sgt. Bifferson of the Bunnaland Police Department, who is heading up the investigation.
48 inches stands between investigators and understanding the cause of this tragic accident.
Dwyber Litte Person, 36 minute veteran of the Biff County School District.
Sources close to the investigation say there have been allegations of negligence levied against Biff County School District for failing to install steering wheels in their busses and for inept hiring practices that have led to 99% of all Little Tikes drivers with arms too short to operate county school busses. Biff County School District officials responded by claiming they are an equal opportunity employer and that arm length has no impact on one's ability to crash a bus.
Law enforcement officials are also looking for this girl, who they think may have had something to do with the crash.
If anyone has any information about her whereabouts, please contact the Biff County Sheriff's Department at 506-LIL-PEPL.
Bunna and Biff have had some requests to see Mattie's hair.
One with her eyes closed.
One with her eyes open.
Mattie and Biff hanging out at home.
On another note, Zoe is starting to think about potty training. Well, at least Bunna and Biff have started thinking about it. They bought her a few different potties to pique her interest in all things potty and to encourage her to someday go sans diaper. In Zoe's mind, diapers are for babies, like baby Mattie, and big girls don't need them. Bunna and Biff are skeptical. Case in point: Zoe was sitting out on her picnic table enjoying the warm summer afternoon. Bunna asked her if she needed to go potty. "Do you need to go number one or number two?" he asked. "Number three!" she replied.
Zoe showing number three.
Bunna didn't know that was an option and after conducting extensive research in the potty books Zoe borrowed from the library, he's certain number three is exclusive to Zoe's potty lexicon. Maybe one day she'll show them what number three is. This prospect frightens Bunna.
The potty research project was, however, not fruitless. Bunna came across some material that rounds out his considerable knowledge in all things poop. One noteworthy text titled Tinkle, Tinkle, Little Tot: Songs & Rhymes for Toilet Training features potty poems to popular childrens' songs. Bunna has two favorites.
The Tushy Pushy
(to the tune of "The Hokey Pokey")
You pull your undies down.
You take the potty out.
You sit your bottom down,
And you push the poopy out.
You do the Tushy Pushy
Till the poop is in the pot.
That's what it's all about!
Indeed. That is what it's all about!
(to the tune of "Itsy-Bitsy Spider)
An itsy-bitsy poo poo
Was floating in the bowl.
I wiped my bum with paper
And flushed it down the hole.
I washed my hands with soap,
Then I walked right out the door.
And I'll return again
When I have to poop some more.
Bunna was a little disappointed that the rendition did not include hand gestures.
As Jerry Wyckoff, Ph.D., coauthor of Discipline without Shouting or Spanking, says, "Now, you and your toddler can sing, dance, and laugh your way through toilet training!" So far it's a regular Sound of Music of potty training over at Bunna and Biff's. Bunna is Capt. von Flush. Biff is Fraulein Floater.
When Bunna and Biff were newly married and merely considering the possibility of some day having children, Bunna tried to convince Biff that girls were a genetic unlikelihood in his family. You see, Bunna is one of four boys and his older brother was, at that time, father of two boys. Rolling two X chromosomes seemed less likely than rolling Yahtzee, and as we all know, the probability of a Yahtzee for any three-roll turn is about .04603 (or roughly 1 in 22 attempts) and the odds of rolling five-of-a-kind in the first roll is more like 1 in 1296. So boys it would be. Or so said Bunna.
Bunna was wrong.
Apparently Bunna and Biff roll lots of Yahtzees.
Enter player to be named later (Yahtzee #2).
Bunna and Biff couldn't be happier. 100 point bonus for the second Yahtzee! It's not a bad way to start off the scorecard.
On a related note, ultrasounds are interesting experiences. The technicians search for vital organs and measurements of the head and spine in a sea of confusingly undulating static--very technical and good to know, but Bunna just wants to adjust the rabbit ears. The scientific part out of the way, most technicians (if things are going their way) try to provide a little entertainment for the excited parents.
This time around Bunna and Biff got some feet and toes...
and this one of Skeletor...er..."face"...this is the one Zoe calls "doggy"--woof woof.
Neither Bunna nor Biff were eager to claim this as their genetic material.