mesdames et messieurs, bunna et biff de hommage olympiques

Bunna and Biff love the Winter Olympics. Bunna always says there’s nothing like putting aside scholarly criticism of patriotism and nationalism and wearing an American flag for pants and a ratty USA Olympic t-shirt from the ’84 Sarajevo games and chanting, “USA! USA!” at the TV in an attempt to distract Yevgeny Plushenko during his long program. Nothing like it. Maybe it was Bunna and Biff’s employment at the 2002 Salt Lake Winter Games that has “Relit the Fire Within.” Who knows. But in honor of the XXI Olympic Winter Games, Bunna and Biff decided to have a fun activity with the kids. They had a “come as your favorite Olympian” dinner the other night.

In the tradition of all Olympic proceedings, we report in both of the official Olympic languages.

Biff venu comme Lindsay Vonn. Elle portait un pis-aller pinky exprimés et gémissait overdramatically propos du bleu sur le tibia. Elle a remporté une médaille d'or pour la soupe de brocoli.

Biff came as Lindsay Vonn. She wore a make-shift pinky cast and whined overdramatically about the bruise on her shin. She won a gold medal for broccoli soup.

Zoé a été un athlète combiné nordique qui a échoué sa formation post-événement dopage.

Zoe came as a Nordic Combined athlete who failed her post-event doping test.

Bunna est venu comme le patinage de vitesse néerlandais, Gerard Kemkers, qui dit Zoé à siéger à la chaise à l'extérieur pour le dîner. A sa grande consternation, Zoé a été immédiatement exclue de la table.

Bunna came as the Dutch speed skating, Gerard Kemkers, who told Zoe to sit in the outside chair for dinner. To his utter dismay, Zoe was immediately disqualified from the table. Het was allemaal de schuld van Bunna's.

Mattie est venu comme son patineur de vitesse américain favori, Apolo Ohno. Elle a occupé jusqu'à sept doigts et a critiqué les Coréens du Sud pour leur tour clandestine tout au long du repas.

Mattie came as her favorite American speed skater, Apolo Ohno. She held up seven fingers and criticized the South Koreans for their illegal turns throughout the meal.

Bonne chance, les équipe États-Unis d'Amérique.