mesdames et messieurs, bunna et biff de hommage olympiques

Bunna and Biff love the Winter Olympics. Bunna always says there’s nothing like putting aside scholarly criticism of patriotism and nationalism and wearing an American flag for pants and a ratty USA Olympic t-shirt from the ’84 Sarajevo games and chanting, “USA! USA!” at the TV in an attempt to distract Yevgeny Plushenko during his long program. Nothing like it. Maybe it was Bunna and Biff’s employment at the 2002 Salt Lake Winter Games that has “Relit the Fire Within.” Who knows. But in honor of the XXI Olympic Winter Games, Bunna and Biff decided to have a fun activity with the kids. They had a “come as your favorite Olympian” dinner the other night.

In the tradition of all Olympic proceedings, we report in both of the official Olympic languages.

Biff venu comme Lindsay Vonn. Elle portait un pis-aller pinky exprimés et gémissait overdramatically propos du bleu sur le tibia. Elle a remporté une médaille d'or pour la soupe de brocoli.

Biff came as Lindsay Vonn. She wore a make-shift pinky cast and whined overdramatically about the bruise on her shin. She won a gold medal for broccoli soup.

Zoé a été un athlète combiné nordique qui a échoué sa formation post-événement dopage.

Zoe came as a Nordic Combined athlete who failed her post-event doping test.

Bunna est venu comme le patinage de vitesse néerlandais, Gerard Kemkers, qui dit Zoé à siéger à la chaise à l'extérieur pour le dîner. A sa grande consternation, Zoé a été immédiatement exclue de la table.

Bunna came as the Dutch speed skating, Gerard Kemkers, who told Zoe to sit in the outside chair for dinner. To his utter dismay, Zoe was immediately disqualified from the table. Het was allemaal de schuld van Bunna's.

Mattie est venu comme son patineur de vitesse américain favori, Apolo Ohno. Elle a occupé jusqu'à sept doigts et a critiqué les Coréens du Sud pour leur tour clandestine tout au long du repas.

Mattie came as her favorite American speed skater, Apolo Ohno. She held up seven fingers and criticized the South Koreans for their illegal turns throughout the meal.

Bonne chance, les équipe États-Unis d'Amérique.

doll house

Bunna and Biff got their girls a doll house for Christmas - a really great one, too. The postmodern architecture provides the optimally comfortable living conditions all little people desire in a home. The little tykes have graciously allowed our cameras in to sneak a peek.

The entire house features beautiful hardwood floors, and the master bedroom is no exception. A spacious room with an enormous skylight that provides ample natural light, the master is truly a gem. Dwyber enjoys gazing out the skylight on long summer evenings.

One of the only drawbacks of this magnificent house, the master bath (in fact, the only bathroom in the entire home) is directly below the bedroom. It features a wood bathtub and counter top and more of the same stunning hardwood. With no direct access to any other room in the house - including the master bedroom - this is the most secluded room, perfect for a long hot bath. We caught Christopher doing just that! The tykes have considered installing a fireman's pole or rope ladder to get from the bedroom to the bathroom. Perhaps the biggest disappointment is the lack of a toilet in the bathroom, a feature which makes this home truly one of a kind.

On the top floor is the second bedroom. Featuring another gorgeous skylight, this room provides plenty of play space for the tykes. Pigtails enjoys one of her favorite episodes of Baby Signing Time.

The kitchen features brand new wood appliances, wood counter tops, and more of the same brilliant wood flooring. It has a small reading nook, just perfect for browsing a magazine while the spaghetti cooks. Large windows and access to the second floor veranda make the kitchen a tykes favorite.

The attached one car garage is perfect for the tykes' customized, overhauled bus.

The backyard is really what makes this property so special. Bunna and Biff went for the upgrade here. The tykes can enjoy a competitive game of tetherball or go fishing in the fully-stocked fish pond...
...or enjoy the hot tub on crisp autumn evenings.

While assembling the house, Bunna, usually a whiz at following instructions, found a few extra pieces. He did the best he could with what he had.

A house with such modern styling and amenities, is really offset by the archaic outhouse. Doubly inconvenient in this case, the would-be kloh client has to climb a flight of stairs, where there, atop his perch he may do his business.

Oh! those incorrigible little tykes!

Bunna and Biff may have watched too much HGTV while away for the holidays.