Bunna & Biff

bunna in dog house

2010-02-26T21:04:00.005-06:00

Sometimes Bunna gets in trouble. Bunna has been accused of posting only the worst pictures of his children. He claims his art requires a certain affect and that readers (the very few that there are) know they're cute. To appease Biff, Bunna offers the following evidence of cuteness:

Back to the Olympics.

mesdames et messieurs, bunna et biff de hommage olympiques

2010-02-25T21:09:00.018-06:00

Bunna and Biff love the Winter Olympics. Bunna always says there’s nothing like putting aside scholarly criticism of patriotism and nationalism and wearing an American flag for pants and a ratty USA Olympic t-shirt from the ’84 Sarajevo games and chanting, “USA! USA!” at the TV in an attempt to distract Yevgeny Plushenko during his long program. Nothing like it. Maybe it was Bunna and Biff’s employment at the 2002 Salt Lake Winter Games that has “Relit the Fire Within.” Who knows. But in honor of the XXI Olympic Winter Games, Bunna and Biff decided to have a fun activity with the kids. They had a “come as your favorite Olympian” dinner the other night.

In the tradition of all Olympic proceedings, we report in both of the official Olympic languages.

Biff venu comme Lindsay Vonn. Elle portait un pis-aller pinky exprimés et gémissait overdramatically propos du bleu sur le tibia. Elle a remporté une médaille d'or pour la soupe de brocoli.

Biff came as Lindsay Vonn. She wore a make-shift pinky cast and whined overdramatically about the bruise on her shin. She won a gold medal for broccoli soup.

Zoé a été un athlète combiné nordique qui a échoué sa formation post-événement dopage.

Zoe came as a Nordic Combined athlete who failed her post-event doping test.

Bunna est venu comme le patinage de vitesse néerlandais, Gerard Kemkers, qui dit Zoé à siéger à la chaise à l'extérieur pour le dîner. A sa grande consternation, Zoé a été immédiatement exclue de la table.

Bunna came as the Dutch speed skating, Gerard Kemkers, who told Zoe to sit in the outside chair for dinner. To his utter dismay, Zoe was immediately disqualified from the table. Het was allemaal de schuld van Bunna's.

Mattie est venu comme son patineur de vitesse américain favori, Apolo Ohno. Elle a occupé jusqu'à sept doigts et a critiqué les Coréens du Sud pour leur tour clandestine tout au long du repas.

Mattie came as her favorite American speed skater, Apolo Ohno. She held up seven fingers and criticized the South Koreans for their illegal turns throughout the meal.

Bonne chance, les équipe États-Unis d'Amérique.

doll house

2010-01-23T22:10:00.004-06:00

Bunna and Biff got their girls a doll house for Christmas - a really great one, too. The postmodern architecture provides the optimally comfortable living conditions all little people desire in a home. The little tykes have graciously allowed our cameras in to sneak a peek.

The entire house features beautiful hardwood floors, and the master bedroom is no exception. A spacious room with an enormous skylight that provides ample natural light, the master is truly a gem. Dwyber enjoys gazing out the skylight on long summer evenings.

One of the only drawbacks of this magnificent house, the master bath (in fact, the only bathroom in the entire home) is directly below the bedroom. It features a wood bathtub and counter top and more of the same stunning hardwood. With no direct access to any other room in the house - including the master bedroom - this is the most secluded room, perfect for a long hot bath. We caught Christopher doing just that! The tykes have considered installing a fireman's pole or rope ladder to get from the bedroom to the bathroom. Perhaps the biggest disappointment is the lack of a toilet in the bathroom, a feature which makes this home truly one of a kind.

On the top floor is the second bedroom. Featuring another gorgeous skylight, this room provides plenty of play space for the tykes. Pigtails enjoys one of her favorite episodes of Baby Signing Time.

The kitchen features brand new wood appliances, wood counter tops, and more of the same brilliant wood flooring. It has a small reading nook, just perfect for browsing a magazine while the spaghetti cooks. Large windows and access to the second floor veranda make the kitchen a tykes favorite.

The attached one car garage is perfect for the tykes' customized, overhauled bus.

The backyard is really what makes this property so special. Bunna and Biff went for the upgrade here. The tykes can enjoy a competitive game of tetherball or go fishing in the fully-stocked fish pond...
...or enjoy the hot tub on crisp autumn evenings.

While assembling the house, Bunna, usually a whiz at following instructions, found a few extra pieces. He did the best he could with what he had.

A house with such modern styling and amenities, is really offset by the archaic outhouse. Doubly inconvenient in this case, the would-be kloh client has to climb a flight of stairs, where there, atop his perch he may do his business.

Oh! those incorrigible little tykes!

Bunna and Biff may have watched too much HGTV while away for the holidays.

bunna and biff's own uninsurable

2009-10-18T20:03:00.006-05:00

Last week Bunna caught the following intriguing news story:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

To see the entire clip with limited commercial interruption, including NBC's own Dr. Corporate America (a.k.a. Nancy Snyderman) with her weekly dose of "medical" expertise, click here.

Bunna and Biff's own little 18 lb. uninsurable and her older same-size-around sister.

Uninsurable or not, they'll take her.

the goatherd

2009-07-29T00:06:00.010-05:00

Bunna and Biff packed up the kids and headed off for the Prairie Farms petting zoo for an afternoon of watch where you step. The goatherd displayed a blatant disregard for all things fecal (her shoes will never be the same), but she thoroughly enjoyed herself. Bunna switched on the camera at just the right moment.

One must be vigilant in such an environment. Bunna's attention to the cinematographic arts distracted him from noticing that his shorts were becoming a goat's afternoon snack and that Biff's baby sling was 10 inches down the throat of an arthritic deer. Retrieving the half-masticated sling was easy enough; however, contemplating the idea that it had been so near the doe's GI tract and that it was covered in some ungodly slime, made the urbanites a little uneasy.

Fortunately for Bunna and Biff, there is more to do at Prairie Farms than enter the ring of cloven-hoofed chaos. They were pleasantly surprised by the variety of farm animals on display.

Ducks,

rabbits,

chickens,

peacocks,

llamas,

and many more that didn't make the highlight reel.

The goatherd's shoes are still wrapped in a plastic bag in the trunk of the car. Bunna and Biff aren't sure that she'll wear them again.

school bus flips - four dead, one critically injured

2009-07-26T20:00:00.012-05:00

Bunnaland, IL--

Bunnaland police officers and firemen responding to the crash site of a Little Tikes school bus said it was the worst accident in memory. A Biff County School District bus careened off the threshold between the kitchen and the living room early Friday afternoon expelling all four passengers and the driver, sending four to their tragic deaths and critically wounding a fifth.

A shot of the carnage before emergency teams arrived.

Dr. Zoerson, a Biff County spokesperson, has confirmed the deaths of 2 year-old, Librarian Little Person, 2 1/2 year-old Christopher Little Person, 2 year-old Pig-Tails Little Person, and 3 year-old Dwyber Little Person, who was found 48 1/2 inches from the crash site.

From left to right: Pig-Tails, Christopher, and Librarian.

Orange-hair Little Person, survived the crash, but was rushed to Biff County Hospital with severe internal bleeding. Surgeons there attempting to repair the damage are apparently baffled by his anatomy and are waiting for a specialist from neighboring Tikestown before commencing what could be a life-saving procedure.

Investigators have yet to determine the cause of the accident, but released a statement late this evening which indicated they were looking closely at the distance between Mr. Dwyber and the rest of the wreckage. "That is the key to this investigation," said Sgt. Bifferson of the Bunnaland Police Department, who is heading up the investigation.

48 inches stands between investigators and understanding the cause of this tragic accident.

Dwyber Litte Person, 36 minute veteran of the Biff County School District.

Sources close to the investigation say there have been allegations of negligence levied against Biff County School District for failing to install steering wheels in their busses and for inept hiring practices that have led to 99% of all Little Tikes drivers with arms too short to operate county school busses. Biff County School District officials responded by claiming they are an equal opportunity employer and that arm length has no impact on one's ability to crash a bus.

Law enforcement officials are also looking for this girl, who they think may have had something to do with the crash.

If anyone has any information about her whereabouts, please contact the Biff County Sheriff's Department at 506-LIL-PEPL.

blog momentum

2009-06-14T22:02:00.012-05:00

Bunna and Biff have had some requests to see Mattie's hair.

One with her eyes closed.

One with her eyes open.

Mattie and Biff hanging out at home.

On another note, Zoe is starting to think about potty training. Well, at least Bunna and Biff have started thinking about it. They bought her a few different potties to pique her interest in all things potty and to encourage her to someday go sans diaper. In Zoe's mind, diapers are for babies, like baby Mattie, and big girls don't need them. Bunna and Biff are skeptical. Case in point: Zoe was sitting out on her picnic table enjoying the warm summer afternoon. Bunna asked her if she needed to go potty. "Do you need to go number one or number two?" he asked. "Number three!" she replied.

Zoe showing number three.

Bunna didn't know that was an option and after conducting extensive research in the potty books Zoe borrowed from the library, he's certain number three is exclusive to Zoe's potty lexicon. Maybe one day she'll show them what number three is. This prospect frightens Bunna.

The potty research project was, however, not fruitless. Bunna came across some material that rounds out his considerable knowledge in all things poop. One noteworthy text titled Tinkle, Tinkle, Little Tot: Songs & Rhymes for Toilet Training features potty poems to popular childrens' songs. Bunna has two favorites.

The Tushy Pushy

(to the tune of "The Hokey Pokey")

You pull your undies down.

You take the potty out.

You sit your bottom down,

And you push the poopy out.

You do the Tushy Pushy

Till the poop is in the pot.

That's what it's all about!

Indeed. That is what it's all about!

Itsy-Bitsy Poo-Poo

(to the tune of "Itsy-Bitsy Spider)

An itsy-bitsy poo poo

Was floating in the bowl.

I wiped my bum with paper

And flushed it down the hole.

I washed my hands with soap,

Then I walked right out the door.

And I'll return again

When I have to poop some more.

Bunna was a little disappointed that the rendition did not include hand gestures.

As Jerry Wyckoff, Ph.D., coauthor of Discipline without Shouting or Spanking, says, "Now, you and your toddler can sing, dance, and laugh your way through toilet training!" So far it's a regular Sound of Music of potty training over at Bunna and Biff's. Bunna is Capt. von Flush. Biff is Fraulein Floater.

welcome mattie mae

2009-06-11T22:02:00.003-05:00

Mattie was born Thursday, June 11 at 10:36 a.m. She weighed 8 lbs. 5 oz. and measured 20 1/2 in. She's a cute girl.

Zoe stealing the spotlight. Bunna suspects Zoe needs corrective eyewear. Here she is squinting to find the camera.

Just the girls.

Big sister. Happy, but near sighted.

The new and improved Snow family.

genetic unlikelihood? maybe not

2009-01-11T20:05:00.011-06:00

When Bunna and Biff were newly married and merely considering the possibility of some day having children, Bunna tried to convince Biff that girls were a genetic unlikelihood in his family. You see, Bunna is one of four boys and his older brother was, at that time, father of two boys. Rolling two X chromosomes seemed less likely than rolling Yahtzee, and as we all know, the probability of a Yahtzee for any three-roll turn is about .04603 (or roughly 1 in 22 attempts) and the odds of rolling five-of-a-kind in the first roll is more like 1 in 1296. So boys it would be. Or so said Bunna.

Bunna was wrong.

Enter Zoe.

Apparently Bunna and Biff roll lots of Yahtzees.

Enter player to be named later (Yahtzee #2).

Bunna and Biff couldn't be happier. 100 point bonus for the second Yahtzee! It's not a bad way to start off the scorecard.

On a related note, ultrasounds are interesting experiences. The technicians search for vital organs and measurements of the head and spine in a sea of confusingly undulating static--very technical and good to know, but Bunna just wants to adjust the rabbit ears. The scientific part out of the way, most technicians (if things are going their way) try to provide a little entertainment for the excited parents.

This time around Bunna and Biff got some feet and toes...

and this one of Skeletor...er..."face"...this is the one Zoe calls "doggy"--woof woof.

Neither Bunna nor Biff were eager to claim this as their genetic material.

Anyway, Bunna was wrong--way wrong.

2008-11-23T17:37:00.003-06:00

12-0

Bunna and Biff tried to post this earlier, but it was intercepted 5 times.

zoe the salty sea-dog

2008-11-16T21:32:00.005-06:00

Zoe swears like a sailor. The researchers at the University of Illinois' Language Acquisition Lab told Biff that new studies suggest that toddlers learn large groups of words by what they call data mining. Data mining, usually computer assisted, involves analyzing and sorting through massive amounts of raw data to find relationships, correlations, and useful information. This theory suggests that the human brain accumulates large amounts of data minute by minute, day by day, and handles this data processing automatically and it could contribute to a "system" approach to language learning that helps explain the ease with which some toddlers can learn multiple words at once. In other words, Zoe's swearing habit could be attributed to the massive amounts of raw data (in this case cuss words) she absorbs each day. What Bunna and Biff don't understand is where she gets the "raw data." They have never been known to utter profanities; they don't allow Zoe to watch HBO (they don't even have cable); and she hasn't been a merchant marine, as far as they know. In case you're wondering, here are some of Zoe's most frequent expletives and the best explanations Bunna and Biff can conjure:

F*&# translates as frog. (They know this because Zoe's favorite bath towel is a frog. Unless that towel is dirty Zoe usually gets out of the bathtub saying, "F*&#! F*&#! F*&#!")

F*&#er translates as finger. (Bunna and Biff first heard this after a checking out a board book about body parts from the public library. Zoe has a hand and ten f*&#ers.)

S*%t translates as shirt. (Zoe used to say "s*%t" as she crawled around looking for things to play with. Bunna and Biff now hear this most often when they try to dress Zoe in the morning. They originally thought she was angry about having a hard time getting her arms in the sleeves, but now they think she's just fashion conscious and doesn't want to wear that dumb s*%t.)

B^$%h translates as spoon. (Zoe can't say spoon. B^$%h is the closest she can get. Recently, however, she has cleaned up her language; she is more likely to use butts now to the great relief of her parents.)

Bunna and Biff are keeping a close eye on all her little friends just to see where she's picking this up. They have a pretty good idea. In the meantime they are encouraging her to broaden her vocabulary in the hopes that she will someday break the habit.

Salt-mouth.

The culprits: Zoe and some of her potty-mouthed friends.

bunna did "dairy" well

2008-10-12T20:13:00.017-05:00

This week Bunna took his special field exam. Everything went well. Biff wanted to do something special for him to help him unwind from the stressful past few months. She planned and planned and planned. She asked herself, "How does one properly celebrate such an achievement? What would Bunna really like to do?" The only answer: a personal tour of the university dairy. So, Bunna and Biff packed up the ol' Toyota and headed out to one of the sources of that stench that wafts by with the incessant south-southwesterly breeze.

Their first stop on the tour was the milking parlor. The University of Illinois Dairy is a state of the art facility: recessed parlor for easy access to the udders and state of the art milking machines held in place automatically by a vacuum system designed for maximum production. Each of the cows is milked three times a day and produces up to 100 lbs. (or about 12 gallons) of milk per day, says our tour guide, Bruce, graduate student in dairy sciences and formerly of Richards' Jersey Farm of Logan, Utah.

Bunna and Zoe inspecting the milkers in the milking parlor.

The milk tank. Biff and Zoe did some quality control: a perfect 38 degrees.

On the next stop of the tour Bunna and Biff were granted VIP access to the cows. They got so close they were in danger of being soused with snot at every snort.

Jenny and Zoe with their favorite cow: 7996.

7996.

The tour proceeded to the feed shelter where they got to look at what the milk cows are fed.

Bruce describing the nutritional value of hay.

The diet of these dairy cows consists of a unique mixture of:

hay...

...alfalfa...

...cotton seed...

...corn (no, Bunna is not holding a purse)...

...and of course, the 11 herbs and spices that Bruce would not divulge. Hmmmm. Sounds familiar. It makes Bunna crave milk more than fortnightly.

The Colonel.

Zoe's favorite part was by far the calves.

9216.

9218. Zoe called this one "dee" (she thought it looked like a deer). No matter how much Bunna and Biff mooooed, she was convinced it was a deer.

The tour also included an opportunity to reach into a live cow's stomach--all the way from the rumen to the abomasum and back--and take a turn milking the cow, manually. Zoe was getting tired, so Bunna and Biff had to excuse themselves before that part, but we hear those who did stay for that part have switched to soy.

All in all Bunna and Biff and Zoe had an udderly great time. Who knew that was how milk got from the cow to Bunna's cereal bowl? Thanks to Bruce and Brittany (and of course the cows) Bunna's post-test celebration went off with a bang.

go cubs!

2008-09-21T22:09:00.004-05:00

Bunna and Biff have been busy. No time for parks just now. Bunna and Zoe, however, did manage to squeeze in the Cubs game yesterday and watch them clinch the NL central.

Go Cubbies! Expect more from Bunnaland after Bunna takes his exams. 'Til then they suggest you visit your own parks.

the poop of silas lapham

2008-07-20T21:31:00.005-05:00

Bunna reads a lot. So does Biff for that matter, but Bunna's current vocational undertaking obliges him to turn more pages than most typical thirty-somethings. Because his scant occupational remuneration doesn't support his bibliophilic dream of shelves chockablock with crisp new copies, Bunna is accustomed to thumbing through cast-off second hand editions and library copies of the best (and worst) nineteenth-century Americans have to offer. Anyone who regularly peruses previously read volumes has certainly encountered the text with insightful underlinings or other annotations that indicate the book was in capable hands. But the reader of used books, especially one who purchases them "site unseen," as it were, from one of the many online outfits, also takes the risk of slogging through a text congested with the inane marginalia of a half-wit. While leafing through William Dean Howells's The Rise of Silas Lapham, one of the late nineteenth-century's classic realist novels, Bunna was content following in the footsteps of what seemed to be one of those capable readers. The markings bespoke someone familiar with intellectual and literary movements, someone who was to his utter dismay, however, familiar with a different kind of movement all together. During a key scene in the novel, this pencil wielding egghead wrote a very cryptic and disturbing (or disturbingly amusing) comment.

In what was an otherwise flawlessly scrupulous job of annotating, came this little jewel in the margin: "pooing." Perhaps because Lapham "leaned back in his chair," or maybe because the narrator described him as "stiffly resolute," or perchance because "incommoded" is cognate with commode (a piece of furniture concealing a chamber pot), this scholar chose to write "pooing." Now, lest you accuse Bunna of forging this comment based on his scatological leanings, you should know that he much prefers "pooping" to "pooing" and has long adopted the former as his chosen term when conversing in that field. "Pooing," of course, has nothing to do with the passage and its presence on the page has long vexed Bunna. Because the other markings to this point had been spot on in his mind, Bunna had to reevaluate his reading and was forced to disassociate himself from the puerile prankster.

Next time the urge to write in a library book (or any book for that matter) takes hold, Bunna advocates caution--others will follow!

mini park independence day

2008-07-05T21:09:00.010-05:00

Fourth of July on a Friday is like having two Saturdays. We rarely have a real Saturday like most people - you know, cut the grass, throw a barbecue, play a round of golf, or maybe even set up the canopy, put out the nylon lawn chairs, fill the one-use styrofoam cooler with your favorite beverage, set up the slip 'n slide in the backyard, and go topless for the afternoon like our neighbors - you know real Saturday kind of stuff. Since our neighbor ripped the slip 'n slide belly-flopping with his keys in his pocket, we decided to use the first Saturday of the weekend to get out and enjoy more of Champaign's mini parks. We had such a good time at McCollum Park and Mini Park II on Memorial Day, we couldn't pass up the opportunity for another holiday visit.

The first stop of the day was Mini Park V at 909 W. Church Street. Obtained through a lease from the Carle Foundation in 1988, the luscious .01 acres located just west of The Pavilion - Champaign's premier mental health institute - provides park goers with ample space for playing frisbee, engaging in a fierce game of bocce ball, or even setting up the croquet wickets. Biff and Zoe managed to get a spot right in front of the sign! We were the only visitors.

Everyone must have been at a 4th of July barbecue or maybe staking out places for the fireworks at Dodds Park. It's possible, however, that most of the park regulars were visiting the cows at Prairie Farm. No matter, we had the place to ourselves!

Because 98% of the park is asphalt, Mini Park V is the destination for Champaign's rollerbladers, rollerskaters, and street hockey enthusiasts. In our excitement to get out of the door, we forgot the rollerskates, but Biff said we could probably return next week. We did, however, make it over to the Pavilion for a look at their top-rate facilities. We might leave the rollerskates at home every time we visit Mini Park V.

Convenient parking is located in the park. Parking is free as is admission. Long-term parking is provided for friends and family of Pavilion patients. Validation can be obtained at the front desk.

Some recent photos of friends enjoying the tropical paradise of Hawaii's pristine coastline have given us a hankerin' for our own island-hopping adventure. We packed up our things and headed to one of Champaign's Flower Islands. Located on the southeast corner of Prospect and Devonshire, this flower island can satisfy any floraphile's addiction.

Its beautiful arrangement of pansies and its exotic palm-like center piece attract heavy traffic during the summer months, so we advise an early morning or late evening visit. None of the cars stopped this Independence Day, though nearly everyone came to a complete stop at the intersection to gaze at all the flowers in all their summer loveliness. Again we suspect everyone was en route to some kind of patriotic party, too busy for what really makes this country great.

Convenient parking is located across the street at the Good Shepherd Lutheran Church. Admission to the island is free.

Stay tuned to Bunna and Biff for more about Champaign's mini parks and for your chance to vote for your favorite mini park and much, much more!

bunna in hoosierland

2008-06-24T22:23:00.007-05:00

Last weekend Bunna realized every basketball fan's fantasy. In Knightstown, Indiana, a small town about 45 minutes outside of Indianapolis, stands a humble community gym that has come to symbolize the legendary history of Indiana basketball. When a film crew descended on Kinghtstown in the late 1980s looking for a place to make their little underdog sports picture, simply titled Hoosiers, the gym catapulted into celebrity.

Nestled in a quiet neighborhood just off US 40, the gym would go practically unnoticed by any ordinary passerby. However, Bunna got excellent directions from the gas station attendant, who, oddly enough, looked just like "Shooter" (Dennis Hopper), the assistant coach/recovering alcoholic who "know[s] everything there is to know about the greatest game ever invented." Anyway, Bunna thought he could get a few pictures of himself outside the gym and be on his way. When he arrived, about 6:30 p.m., a glance at the sign on the door confirmed his assumption:

Hoosier gym was closed for the night. After Biff took a few pictures of Bunna at basketball's Midwestern Mecca, an elderly woman turned the corner and noticing their downcast expressions, mentioned that Merv was her husband, and even though she was off to Bible study, she would be delighted to run back and let him know we were waiting for the VIP tour. Not a moment later, Merv's wife drifted by in their forest green mini-van and Merv appeared at the lobby doors, key in hand and commenced the tour eagerly. Merv was no rookie tour guide. With the greatest possible thoroughness he guided us through every aspect of the gym's construction, every detail of the film's production, every anecdote about the cast, and every possible analysis of the film itself. Bunna was impressed.

B&B got the tour of the locker room where Coach Norman Dale (Gene Hackman) encourages his team...

sat in the stands directly above Hickory's bench...

sunk a few jumpers from the famous floor...

and snapped a photo with the state champs...

They got to see everything but Myra Fleener (Barbara Hershey). Next time they're in Knightstown B&B know where to have a good time.

frickin' fallingwater

2008-06-16T22:16:00.010-05:00

Bunna and Biff discovered that they get wireless at Rico's house, so it's back to the Mac! Since the feature on Champaign's mini-parks, Bunna and Biff have been wondering what other cities do in the way of providing urban recreation. Because the CU Sightings crew wasn't invited to Rico's wedding and had to stay at home to work on the next segment on the mini-parks, B&B thought they could do some exploring. But where in the frick are they supposed to go in an unfamiliar city? Pittsburgh's fashionable Squirrel Hill, home to the tranquil and sylvan Frick Park.*

Frick Park, one of Pittsburgh's Citiparks, provided, however, an unpleasant alternative to Champaign's mini-parks. Pittsburgh has a lot to learn. First of all the park was too frickin' big - over 600 acres - including several miles of frickin' hiking and biking trails and frickin' nature walks. How were they supposed to see the whole frickin' park in one afternoon? Impossible. Secondly, the park was too frickin' crowded. B&B ran into dozens of frickin' hikers, bikers, and joggers. And everyone was so frickin' friendly; they never had more than thirty minutes alone to enjoy the frickin' park. And finally, Zoe couldn't find anything fun to do on the frickin' hike. They tried to get her to have fun in the frickin' kid carrier backpack...

...to no avail. She wouldn't laugh or smile the whole frickin' time. B&B tried to distract her from the monotony of the frickin' steep valleys and wooded slopes with the frickin' camelbak, but that didn't work either.

She couldn't even stay frickin' hydrated. Bunna finally got tired of the whole frickin' thing and made Biff carry Zoe on the way out.

They will never go back to that frickin' park. Give them Champaign's Mini-Park II anytime.

* You may need to be a Utahn to fully appreciate the frickin' humor.

Bunna and Biff had to take a break from the Citiparks and do something really worth their while. What better thing to do in western Pennsylvania than visit the most wonderful place on earth: Yogi Bear's Jellystone Park!

All of Hanna-Barbera's lovable characters joined in making their visit one to remember. Ranger Smith gave them a hearty welcome as they entered...

...and Yogi Bear let Zoe and Biff take a ride in his picnic basket!

What fun! Zoe even got to pretend she was a little toe-headed boy!

On the way back to Pittsburgh, B&B decided to follow some signs to some local-yokel place on the outskirts of Mill Run, called Fallingwater. Apparently some guy named Frank Lloyd Wright built some crazy house in the middle of the Pennsylvania woods. What d'ya know?

They didn't dare take the tour of the interior - who really believes the cantilever construction will hold anyway? - and just decided to take the tour of the grounds. The trails around the house provided them with plenty to do and see. Bunna got to go swimming...

and Biff got to wash her hands.

They really couldn't have asked for more at Fallingwater. Just goes to show you never know what you're going to find in the woods. Western PA is really cool!

PC in Pitt

2008-06-15T19:10:00.006-05:00

mini park memorial day

2008-05-26T21:09:00.014-05:00

The CU Sightings crew is finally back from sabbatical! The time away from the CU area really made us homesick and we were eager to get out and enjoy all that the metropolis has to offer this Memorial Day. So we packed up Zoe and headed for Champaign's mini parks, the subject of what will be a multi-part expose on this particularly quaint feature of the Twin Cities.

Our first stop was McCollum Park (originally named Mini Park VII) at 1060 S. Neil Street. This charming park, obtained by the Champaign Park District in 1990, stretches nearly two-tenths of a mile along the east side of south Neil Street between Honorary Tim Nugent Way and the attractive vacant lot to its north.

Given its proximity to the railway, the train, which makes frequent visits, makes this park a favorite with children who love to count the cars. Today's drizzle must have kept the other families away, but we enjoyed watching the Canadian National Railway cars bustling down the tracks. The capacious .9 acres allow plenty of space for football or picnics and with the other features the park has to offer, such as the billowing factory smokestacks, the entertaining playground rides for kids (like this adorable chicken),

or the medium-voltage electrical substation,

there's no end to the fun at McCollum Park. Convenient parking is located south of the park at the corner of Neil St. and Honorary Tim Nugent Way, just north of the Verizon Wireless warehouse. Admission is free.

Our tour of Mini Parks took us next to Mini Park II. Located at 3 E. Greet Street, this .2055 acre park, acquired by the Champaign Park District in 1972, stands at the gateway to Campus Town. Verdant, well-manicured lawn makes Mini Park II the perfect spot for spreading out a blanket and reading the novel you keep meaning to read or enjoying a candlelight dinner with that special someone.

Zoe and Bunna really enjoyed the playground.

When we asked today's only other park visitor (well, he was more under the MTD shelter than a park visitor per se) what he enjoyed about the park he said, "People don't come to this park for the recreation, they come for the art." And so it is. Mini Park II is home to Champaign's only large-scale building mural. Painted in 2002 to commemorate the park's 30 year anniversary, this beautiful depiction of CU's diversity and commitment to the three BIG A's (academics, agriculture, and animal rights), "really puts the 'you' in CU," says our bus-riding park goer. "You can really see yourself in that painting!" Can you see us?

Convenient parking is located just north of the park at Hollywood Video or east of the park at CVS Pharmacy. Admission is free.

Stayed tuned to Bunna and Biff for the rest of the Mini Park expose and for your chance to vote on your favorite Champaign Mini Park.

catching up

2008-05-26T20:35:00.004-05:00

Bunna and Biff have been busy and haven't had much time to keep up the blog. Last weekend they took advantage of the spring weather and visited Garth and Ane and their family in Chicago. They took in a little league baseball game, played a little wii, visited one of their favorite places in the Windy City: the Chicago Botanic Garden. May is the best month to visit the garden. Although the rose garden is not in bloom, many of the the other gardens are at their best. Zoe loved everything, but the Sensory Garden was her favorite because she got to touch and smell everything. Bunna and Biff managed to capture some of her funniest faces on camera; they also got some of their own funniest faces, but since they control content on this blog, no one else will ever see them!

The most interesting thing about the garden is the gigantic statue of Joseph Smith. Bunna and Biff had no idea he was a gardener. They all had a great time.

zoe's night time antics

2008-05-02T22:10:00.006-05:00

We'd hoped to report on some crawling around here. It's about time, isn't it? Unfortunately (or, perhaps fortunately for us since we don't have to chase her around) someone is a little slow on the uptake. Maybe it's the chubby, but very cute, middle that hinders her locomotion. Zoe's new tricks are ... well ... idiosyncratic. They don't actually qualify as a skills, but being the supportive parents we are, we celebrate them as such.

Bunna now calls her the "super suffocation kid." Biff says we should work on more constructive nicknames.

earthday in bunnaland: a vindication

2008-04-24T12:45:00.002-05:00

Certain private conversations about, and the dearth of comments on, our most recent post: "our dinner with al gore," precipitates this clarification, this vindication if you will. Though the tone (meant more as a catalogue of our commitment to the environment, a précis to impress Al Gore) may suggest otherwise, the post actually contains very few falsehoods. Confessions: we did not actually invite Al Gore; we do not own a loom; Zoe's diaper, although cloth, did not feature any endangered species; and compost piles are expressly forbidden in our complex by-laws (or we would have one). The rest of the post is pretty much true. We meant no disrespect to Al Gore or other like-minded environmentalists. We are committed to our green lifestyle and encourage others to be kind to our mother earth.

our dinner with al gore

2008-04-22T19:23:00.006-05:00

We really wanted to celebrate Earth Day right this year, so we decided to invite a special guest to dinner. We'd never had a Nobel Prize winner in our home before, but we figured since he was going to be in the neighborhood we could at least extend the invitation. So we made plans. We figured that after appearing on "Oprah's Earth Day Event," he could hop on the 57 and drive down (we were sure he'd insist on driving a hybrid), and spend the evening with us. We usually eat dinner around 5:30, so he'd have to leave right after taping. We made a nice sign on recycled packaging paper and hung it on the sliding glass door, which we purposely left ajar so he could smell the compost pile in the backyard.

We made sure to wear the bamboo clothing we purchased at the clothes co-op this weekend (an amazingly versatile, renewable resource - but of course, we wouldn't have to tell him that!) and Zoe wore one of her cloth diapers - the cute one with the little prints of endangered species on it. Biff made wild Alaskan salmon while I cooked up some organic whole wheat pasta with homemade organic pesto and organic feta cheese, and we topped it off with a nice organic spinach salad. Very tasty and all cooked with energy from the solar panel we installed last summer. We figured we'd give him the special seat between the plastic recycling and the loom. When 5:30 came, we were all ready. Everything was perfect, except no Al. 5:45. Still no Al. 6:00. Nothing. What an inconvenience. Our food was getting cold and the guest of honor still hadn't arrived. Dejectedly, Biff took down the framed picture of Al at one of the screenings of An Inconvenient Truth and put it in his place. It just wasn't the same.

There was a somber mood at the dinner table, but we celebrated the best we could. We tried to console ourselves with thoughts of next year, but the Earth will be a year older and we never know what might happen.

Happy Earth Day.

earthquake in bunnaland: it's all yer fault

2008-04-20T21:15:00.013-05:00

Growing up in the West, Biff and I remember the good old days of mandatory earthquake drills. Seismologists continually warned us that the "big one" was coming and so we were periodically startled by the shrill whistle of the earthquake alarm and herded under our tiny little desks by faculty reliving memories of being crammed into plywood fallout shelters like this one, that looks like a great place to flip through a book and eat a can of Campbell's tomato soup.

I could never manage to get my entire body under the desk. I had to choose between my head and my legs - and I was one of the smaller students.

So moving to the Midwest we thought we were trading earthquake drills for tornado sirens and twister preparedness seminars. We were wrong. Apparently we live near what the USGS considers the area of highest earthquake risk in the United States outside the west coast: the New Madrid fault. What do you know?

Early Friday morning we felt the tremor. I should say Biff felt the tremor. I was groggy and dismissed it as a figment of her imagination. It wasn't until later that morning, when we assessed the damage, that I realized what had happened. Our office was almost unrecognizable; we're still alphabetizing.

And our pantry? Well, we had to enlist the help of our neighbor, Albert, to help clean up all the glass. He got right in with both hands.

We'll try to post more pictures of the clean up.

volkswagen for sale

2008-03-30T21:03:00.007-05:00

A while ago, Biff's friend posted his Volkswagen Bus to Craigslist in Salt Lake City. Bunna happened to be perusing the site (something he does now and again as a diversion from studying), when he ran into what seemed like a familiar seller. Here's the original post:

We thought we could have a little fun with him, so we created a bogus email account and asked a few questions about the condition of the bus. Here's a copy of the sent email from Billy "Bee" Bradford. The questions are worth reading.

He never replied. The bus is still for sale. It looks like Billy "Bee" will just have to find himself another ride, man.

the easter bunny spotted in bunnaland

2008-03-23T17:26:00.008-05:00

We saw the Easter Bunny this morning sitting on our couch. Contrary to popular myth, the Easter Bunny is a girl. She's kind of plump, with a round face and a cute little smile - kind of different than what we'd expected. She didn't even leave us any eggs or candy. I was expecting some of those Cadbury eggs - you know, the kind with the carmel center - but all we got was a dirty diaper with a sweet potato center. Mmmmm.

bunna and biff back from hiatus: mice to blame for interruption

2008-03-16T14:43:00.012-05:00

How to describe the general feeling in Bunnaland:

heebie jeebies.

William "Billy" De Beck coined the term in his Barney Google cartoon in 1923:

A dictionary definition:

heebie jeebies:
1. Noun: The physical and psychic reaction to something revolting or disgusting. May be expressed in a shiver, shudder, or the archtypal skin crawling.
2. A passe term used to refer to a feeling of being "freaked out."

The Boswell Sisters' definition:

The Brits would call it "screaming habdabs":

From the loaded traps (burnt peanut butter gets 'em every time),

to the mice behind the dishwasher,

to the little guy (still alive!) trying to burrow through a half an inch of plywood under the sink,

to the nest,

we've been feeling the heebie jeebies. Biff has thrown out everything the mice might have touched - just about everything in our kitchen - and we've been patching up holes like the little Dutch boy to prevent them from returning. We'll see how it goes.

The CU Sightings crew will be back from sabbatical soon and have a great spring line-up planned, so stay tuned to Bunna and Biff for more of what everybody loves about Champaign-Urbana.

zoe's bright future

2008-02-25T20:23:00.025-06:00

Ever since Zoe was born we’ve heard countless opinions about which parent she resembles most: “Oh! Zoe has Biff's eyes!” Or conversely, “Oh! Bunna! She has your eyes.” Perhaps our friend, Marcus, said it best: “She has Biff's eyes and Bunna's hair.” Although the latter half may be true for now, we are, quite frankly, at a loss when it comes to assigning her features any particular parental origin. But it got us thinking. Since she’s only six months old and it’s difficult to determine what she’ll look like when her features start to take on a more permanent cast, we underwent the self-deprecating process of amateur web-based composite portraiture to get a glimpse of Zoe’s future.

The results were, needless to say, shocking and we can only hope that she grows up to resemble one of us—even if it is her mustachioed old man—and not both. It’s the thinning hairline/comb-over that scares us the most. Good thing Biff is the other genetic donor here; she has good hair and she couldn’t grow a goatee even if she tried.

To try and put these nightmarish images behind us we began focusing on Zoe’s other developing characteristics in hopes of finding something of ourselves in her that we could be proud of. That process has not been fruitless. Zoe is a good sitter. I think she got that from me; I’m a good sitter. She can lie on her back and giggle really well. I’ve seen Biff do that—she must get that from Biff. She can wear socks for hours on end. Biff’s good at wearing socks; she must have gotten that from her. At six months she loves to eat books (and, well, anything that comes near her mouth). We’ve both been known to consume lots of books. So, when we really started looking we found so many things that gave us hope. Despite her parents' grotesque facial composite, Zoe future seems bright.

finally some real food - er, kind of

2008-02-18T21:48:00.004-06:00

Zoe has been trying to snag food off our plates for the past couple of weeks, so we decided to celebrate her six month birthday by shoving a spoon full of cereal in her mouth. Bunna has been waiting nearly six months for this day, but he can see now that her current mode of eating is preferable and much easier to clean up. Eating solids is like learning to ride a bike - it's going to take some practice. But to her credit, Zoe seems to be a fast learner. About half of what we put in her mouth stayed there. As you can see, she also enjoys drinking out of a big person glass. I think that was her favorite part.

don't tell me what to do, mom!

2008-02-17T22:22:00.003-06:00

Zoe is already asserting her voice, or at least silencing someone else's. This one was just too cute to pass up.

bunna and the big 3-0

2008-02-14T12:06:00.014-06:00

Today Bunna turned 30. This special day offers us a unique occasion to explain his middle-child complex. Not only is Bunna a semi-forgotten second child - somewhere in between the favorite oldest and the spoiled youngest - he even has to share his February 14th birthday with the rest of the romantically inclined world. Maybe a few pictures can help illustrate. While his brothers were surprised each year on their birthdays with Dad's latest cake design featuring frosting-covered football helmets, basketballs, and even their (or Dad's) favorite Sesame Street characters (fig. 1).

Fig. 1: Dad with a Grover cake. Nice glasses!

Bunna was never so lucky. While he longed for the big red block letter "U" or the Los Angeles Raiders (before they moved back to Oakland) football helmet, he was yearly presented, to his snowballing disappointment, with a pink heart cake. Though the cake was always decorated a little differently - candy hearts here or a maybe some red M&Ms there, the basic pattern was the same: bright pink frosting covering a double-layer, heart shaped chocolate cake (fig. 2-5). Maybe some pictures will help illustrate the extent of the pain Bunna has suffered over the years.

Fig. 2: Bunna's second birthday. We can see here that the basic pattern has been established.
Fig 3: Bunna's third birthday. Note 1981's improvisation: the candy-clustered center.
Fig. 4: Bunna's fourth birthday. As if the shape of the cake wasn't already apparent, it gets emphasized in the 1982 edition with the red candy heart border.
Fig. 5: Although blurry, we can see by Bunna's sixth birthday that the cake has risen to new heights.
This painful past has caused Biff to look for alternatives when it comes to the traditional birthday cake. This year the candles were placed atop Bunna'a favorite: a cinnamon roll. Biff used the heart-shaped cake pan (an unthinkably cruel wedding gift) to store the other birthday goodies. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUNNA!

overdressed in illinois

2008-02-05T20:36:00.000-06:00

Sometimes when we're sick and we have the chills, the only thing we feel like doing is bundling up and taking a nap or maybe watching one of our favorite movies. Zoe is no different. Or anyway, since she can't tell us how she feels, we have to guess. So yesterday Biff thought it wouldn't hurt to cram an under-the-weather and already-overdressed Zoe into her Antarctic expedition gear to go get the mail. Official temperature in the greater Champaign-Urbana area at the time of mail pick-up: 48 degrees. Un-official temperature inside Zoe's snow suit: accurate reading difficult to determine due to melted display screen. For those of you who haven't seen Zoe in a while, or for that matter, at all, we included a kleenex box as a handy reference. Zoe is now 2 and 1/2 kleenex boxes long (not including the snowsuit).

and the winner is...

2008-01-29T17:19:00.001-06:00

Whoever guessed an elderly person trying to cook something they shouldn't have is the big winner. Who knew sweet potatoes wuld make such a big mess? Call 1-800-MY-SWINE to schedule your tour of the Swine Research Center

On another note, Jenny and Zoe's flight was cancelled today. Eric Carmen will get me through one more day "All By Myself."

a little game

2008-01-22T15:00:00.000-06:00

So, you know the games where you're shown only a tiny section of a larger image and you're supposed to guess what that larger image is? Try this one. Comment on this post with your answer and we'll reveal the complete image in the next few days. The winner will get a VIP tour of Champaign's famed Swine Research Center. Good luck!

she'snot here right now!

2008-01-15T19:20:00.000-06:00

Upon returning home from a month-long vacation in snowy Salt Lake City, I found our mailbox stuffed beyond capacity - our mail carrier is clearly a postal veteran rather adept at folding, crumpling, squeezing, and otherwise cramming the impossible into wee spaces. Along with the regular junk mail, bills, Christmas cards, and catalogues addressed to my mom, came this little nugget: Unfortunately for Education Finance Partners of San Francisco, California, Jennifer'snot requiring any financial assistance because she just accepted a job as the new spokeswoman for Kleenex. It'snot a bad way to make a living. Her parents, Harry and Amber Snot, are so proud.

ladies and gentlemen, please clear the runway

2007-12-18T12:20:00.000-06:00

We made it to Salt Lake - and just in time. We headed west just as the winter storm that paralyzed the Midwest and Northeast headed east. Luckily we flew through Dallas and avoided the 250 delayed flights at O'Hare. Zoe's preferred mode of travel is now the airplane. She slept longer and more peacefully in a crammed airplane at 30,000 ft. than she ever has in her car seat around town. Admittedly, we were a little anxious about air travel and a four-month old, but things went very smoothly. One incident, however, is worth reporting though it doesn't involve Zoe. On our way to Dallas I had to relieve myself of a little pre-flight hydration. As frequent travelers of all stripes know, airplane lavatories are, without a doubt, the place to avoid. They invariably appear on lists of "germiest" places and frequently feature sights and smells of which nightmares are made. Anyway, I walked all the way down the aisle under the gaze of the other passengers and entered the vacant stall. Turbulence didn't make it easy, but it was, in the end, uneventful. Immediately after returning to my seat, the flight attendant's voice came blaring, rather incoherently, over the loudspeaker: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats, the toilet is clogged." Needless to say, I turned bright red and watched with surprise as the captain emerged from the cockpit and rushed down the aisle toward the restroom. He was either in dire need of a pitstop or pilot training includes a course in unclogging airplane toilets. So, we're still debating whether the pilot couldn't wait and needed a clear path to the washroom, or if I have magic urine that clogs toilets. My guess is the former, but I think the crew on American Airlines flight 327 could have concocted a more tactful plan to get the captain to the bathroom.

cold unconsciousness and snowsuit paralysis

2007-12-09T18:14:00.000-06:00

Ice was the story this morning. For those not familiar with ice storms or freezing rain, it's a meteorological phenomenon nearly unsurpassed in resplendent charm. I found the best way to survey the effects is on one's back. The return to consciousness cast a glittering aura around the heavy, ice encrusted tree limbs; and it was there, at the bottom of our slippery stairs, that I thought of the blog. We bundled up Zoe, who suffered from a bit of snowsuit paralysis akin to Randy Parker in A Christmas Story, and took some pictures for our faithful readers.

Maa Maa and Peanut Butter Poop

2007-12-01T21:23:00.000-06:00

Since we recently discovered Zoe's intolerance to both soy and dairy-based formula, we've been considering other options. One suggestion we heard frequently from both friends and medical professionals was goat's milk. Zoe seemed to like it. After all, despite the odor, the can claims it has a "gourmet taste" and that it's easier to digest than cow's milk. After finishing her first bottle, she took special notice of the goat picture in her flip-a-face baby animal book. Interestingly enough, the goat makes a "maa maa" sound, which made us wonder whether Zoe was getting a little confused about her true progenitor. Two days later, after a few bottles of premium goat's milk, we noticed a suspicious lack of dirty diapers. "What are you feeding me," she said? Well, soon thereafter, we discovered that goat's milk was not the solution to Zoe's eating woes. After returning from the pediatrician, we became aware that Zoe needed to be changed, and it was, naturally, my turn. Unzipping her hoodie, I detected something out of the ordinary up around her chest. POOP! Jenny later said it looked like a 24 oz. jar of peanut butter exploded in her diaper. It took 16 wipes to scrape it off. I considered taking a picture, but two things stopped me: I couldn't let my daughter wallow in her own filth and I feared the repercussions of posting inappropriate content to blogger. Anyway, the verdict on goat's milk: STAY AWAY!

Ye Olde Gastronomic Adventure

2007-11-27T22:07:00.000-06:00

Today's CU Sighting is located just north of campus at the crossroads of Green Street and First Street. Ye Olde Donut Shop and Hickory Pit Barbecue is sure to satisfy even the most insatiable appetite. Nowhere else but right here in Champaign-Urbana can the gastronomic adventurer be favored with the distinctive fusion of sugared pastries and spit-fired meat. Don't let the Old English deceive you; you won't find Grendel quaffing a cup of mead or a dress code calling for chain-
mail armor, but shoes and shirts are a must. Zoe's first trip didn't turn out so well. We didn't make it in time to eat, but at least the parking lot was empty.

meggan in bunnaland

2007-11-17T21:19:00.000-06:00

This weekend we played host to Meggan. She got a brief respite from supervising those tiresome octogenarians and Zoe got to meet another aunt. So it was a pretty good deal for all of us. Zoe took to Meggan right away and we assume vice-versa.

We had beautiful fall weather today, which made the tour of campus both fun and, I might add, historically accurate!

It also provided us the opportunity to tour another of Champaign- Urbana's numberless places of interest. Tucked away in a quiet corner of campus, the grounds of The Institute for Genomic Biology feature a rather singular spectacle which represents today's CU Sighting. An undergraduate experiment in biomass conversion gone terribly wrong, these fellows stand as constant reminders of the frequent underestimation of the instability and biocomplexity of plant genomes and proteomics. You can also play a little game of "where's bunna?"

This one is for the grandparents.

milk or beer? why choose one when you can have both?

2007-11-15T19:17:00.000-06:00

Many of you have scoffed at us because of our faith in alternative medicine. We've heard the laughter as we administer our tinctured treatments from those tiny droppers; we've remained undeterred by the jibes about apple cider vinegar baths or avoiding red and yellow food dyes; and endured the countless jokes about a squirrel and a metal rod. Our homeopath's latest prescription for Jenny is by far my favorite. There's no telling what a bottle of beer before each feeding will do for milk production, but you can't beat the beer breath! Since Zoe gets what mom eats in one form or another, I suggested we dispense with a few steps of the process and try a more direct approach. She's had a steady diet of non- alcoholic beer today and things seem better, but we're out of pretzels.

bunna a fraud, mustache not real!

2007-11-12T21:47:00.000-06:00

Ever since the second annual white trash party, I have been carrying an enormous burden. The only way to redeem myself and pay complete restitution to the deceived is to share the trade secrets of fake mustache application and grooming - an art revealed to me by one Captain Potassium. Here is a list of the supplies you'll need:

hair clippers
your wife's toothbrush
a paper towel (you may substitute a kleenex or toilet paper)
lotion or moisturizer

The first step in applying any type of fake facial hair, as any professional in the counterfeit whiskers industry will tell you, is to guarantee an exact color match. This can be achieved only by using your own hair. There are many ways to harvest the hair you'll need. Some collect stray clippings in the sink after shaving (though this can take weeks and you never know just when you'll need a fake mustache) and some swear by a product I'd rather not endorse: the Mangroomer. In the case at hand, after shaving my head in the shower, the stray hairs were carefully gathered with the toothbrush and swept onto a paper towel. The next step is more difficult and may require years of practice before your fake mustache goes undetected. Apply the lotion in the desired shape of your handsome new handlebars and press the trimmings to your face until you achieve the coverage you fancy. Here is where most impostors go wrong. Be careful not to over apply as excessively thick or patchy mustaches are easily recognized. Then, remove excess whiskers with the toothbrush until the Keiser Wilhelm inside you shines through. Oh, don't forget to rinse out your wife's toothbrush when you're done.

yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me; or, yer books are overdue, matey!

2007-11-08T21:21:00.000-06:00

Today's CU Sighting is the monocular guardian of the library's main stacks. Strategically placed at the entrance to the university's enormous collection, this book-loving buccaneer gazes down at would-be library patrons in what could be considered the current library administration's version of Big Brother. Hugh C. Atkinson, University Librarian from 1976-1986, suffered a tragic reading accident in which he lost the use of his right eye and left hand. Atkinson was always fond of the hook prosthetic attachment, which he sheepishly concealed behind his back, yet preferred the freebooter fashion so accurately depicted in his portrait to other methods of ocular re-presentation. Atkinson, who strove tirelessly for tighter book binding regulations including blunt cover corners and edgeless paper, found his place recently in that Library of Congress in the sky. So, Bunna and Biff salute you, Captain Hugh C. Atkinson, (Arrrrrrgh!) for keeping reading safety your administration's first priority.

the perfect storm, too!

2007-11-06T22:42:00.000-06:00

While two of our best friends were enjoying the breathtaking views of Canyonlands (a backpacking trip one of them called "The Perfect Storm"), we were busy stuffing 8 adults, 3 kids, and a newborn baby into our tiny house for Zoe's baby blessing. It was, you might say, a perfect storm. Really though, it was great to have everyone here for the special occasion and fun for Zoe to meet grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins for the first time.

Grandma and Zoe in her beanie
Grandpa holding Zoe for the first time
Grandma and Grandpa spending a little time with Zoe
Garth, Ane, Gallagher, Atticus, and Eleanor pose for a picture with Zoe
Mom and Dad finally get to hold her!
Rico and Erin came all the way from Pittsburgh - thanks ya yinzers!
Gallagher and Zoe
All the cousins

another item for my cv

2007-11-02T13:24:00.000-05:00

Today the university conferred on me a very prestigious award. Granted every university and state employee received the same honor, but after I failed the ethics course last year for completing the rather fatuous quiz too quickly (and was, furthermore, reprimanded by the Illinois State Ethics Committee and required to complete remedial ethics training), today's receipt is monumental. I think I'll frame it and hang it next to the certificate I received for my hole in one at the put-put course - the one I lied about. [Note: I have removed my last name from the certificate to protect my anonymity. If you would like to certify its authenticity, I welcome your perusal of said document.]

I don't want to feed her. You feed her!

2007-11-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

We just found out Jenny's milk supply is running low. So when it comes to feeding Zoe, we've all had to help out a little. Since we couldn't miss the new episode of The Office, Zoe had to get her own food tonight. Lucky for us she's pretty good at feeding herself. The lactation consultant recommended an herbal supplement called Fenugreek that makes Jenny smell like maple syrup. Now I call her Aunt Jemima. I tossed and turned all night dreaming about sausages and silver dollar pancakes covered in maple syrup. I was as "a hungry man that dreameth, and, behold, he eateth; but he awaketh, and his soul is empty" (Isaiah 29:8). I'll have to make my way over to the IHOP tomorrow before I teach.

Happy Halloween

2007-10-31T21:19:00.000-05:00

Today was Zoe's first Halloween! We had already come up with sweet pea as a little nickname for her, so this costume was the clear choice.
She worked one of the styrofoam peas free.
She wouldn't take her eyes off Mom for a picture!
Dad's pretty scary and he's not even wearing a costume. I thought we could go trick or treating to feed my sugar addiction, but her eating schedule got in the way and I didn't think most of our neighbors would take kindly to a 30 year old with an eye patch, a plastic sword, and a pillow case on their doorsteps. Arrrrrr! Trick or Treat!

Swine Research Center Not to Blame for Stench...

2007-10-30T14:59:00.001-05:00

I stepped outside on our back porch to enjoy the beautiful fall weather we've been having and discovered the origin of the ghastly odor that has been plaguing us the past few days: several of Christopher's dirty diapers mouldering in the unseasonably warm fall sunshine! Those filthy swine are off the hook for now.

Swine Research Center

2007-10-29T21:25:00.000-05:00

We've decided to add a new feature to our blog - something we call CU Sightings. As many of you know, since moving to Champaign-Urbana we have been enamored with the resplendent beauty of the verdant landscape and smitten with the rich cultural diversity of East Central Illinois. To celebrate and publicize the obscure and unheralded idiosyncrasies of the bustling metropolis that is Champaign-Urbana, we will be sharing with you, from time to time, some of the features, nay, monuments, that we hope will make this little neck of the woods your next vacation destination. Our first sighting, the University of Illinois' Swine Research Center, is right here in our own Village of Savoy. Sounds romantic doesn't it? When the barometric pressure, relative humidity, and temperature reach certain conditions, there wafts a particularly fetid odor through our quiet little village. No dirty diaper, no dog poop, no waste disposal facility can match the stench that hangs like soiled yellow underpants above the rooftops. Call ahead for your appointment and make sure to schedule your visit on Wednesdays. Free samples are available from noon until three.

black white trash?

2007-10-27T22:01:00.000-05:00

Is this an oxymoron? Judge for yourself - I'll point out a few of the highlights: first of all, the broken leg (sure sign of domestic abuse). If you ask him how he broke his leg, he says, in his two-year-old language, "Mama and Mama and Mama." Second, we might point to the lack of clothing - the classic signature of white trash. Notice the nice butt scratch, too - can't get enough of that.
And of course, what could be better than the Dairy Queen? As Libby Mae Brown would say, "I've been workin' at the DQ for eight months now. Seven, eight months. Just do the cones, make sundaes, make blizzards, 'n put stuff on 'em 'n, see a lot of people come in. A lot of people come to the DQ. Burgers. Ice cream - anything, ya know. Cokes. Just drive in and get a Coke if you're thirsty."

2007-10-25T10:02:00.000-05:00

Zoe's Halloween costume came today. After a lot of consideration, we decided to go with the Sweet Pea costume - it was either that or a ridiculous monkey or an elephant with enormous ears. The package said 0-6 months, but I think a two-year old would fit inside this thing. I tried on the little hat. Maybe I'll go as the Sweat Pea. I can't really get my OJ Simpson costume to work.